I recently had one of those days. The kind where I sat down at the end of the day and realized that I spent the entire day saying things like “no, don’t touch that!” or “no, your water does NOT belong on the floor!” or “stopthatrightnow!”
I would much rather use positive reinforcement and redirection, but when I’m having to do it 472 times a day, I run out of ways to direct her.
It’s just easier to say “no.”
After I’ve put her to bed, I often stand outside her door and re-do the entire day using only loving words. I imagine myself being more level-headed and kind. I pretend that I didn’t yell once. I beat myself up over the things I said.
I remind myself that I’m human. But I still feel like I just didn’t do anything right.
And then, we go to the zoo.
I see her feeding an aoudad, whispering to him, being so gentle. I see her talking to the baby goats with such love and kindness.
And I realize that … I’m doing fine.
Everyone has bad days. Everyone makes mistakes. But as long as I counteract those mistakes with love and kindness and laughter, she’ll be okay.
We’ll be okay.
ps :: those awesome ladies over at I ♥ Faces let me post again today.
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So very true. Beautiful sentiments as always.
This is SO ME. I spend all day at work or at night thinking how much I miss them, how tomorrow I’m going to be more patient, spend more time with them JUST focusing on them, etc, etc…and then tomorrow is just the same as before. *Sigh* things are never perfect.
That’s so true. We can never stop worrying about whether we are doing the right thing, but I guess we are.
Great post. I’ve had several days/afternoons like this. My husband always tells me they won’t remember but I think they’re getting to the age where they do. I always apologize – they know I’m human and make mistakes too.
The number of times I could write these exact sentiments is innumerable. But my boys are so loving that I figure I’m doing something right! Great post!
I also feel the same way. But, you have to look at it this way…you think you are being to hard on the kids, but you see how loving and polite they are…and that means you are doing it *just right*. Let me just say that there are parents out there that don’t say “stop that” or “no” to their kids and they don’t quite get the same effect that we do.
Pat on the back, you are a WONDERFUL mother!
oh, i know how you feel. i feel this same way often. and you’re right, you can see your reflection in her and it’s a beautiful one. you ARE a wonderful mommy!
I love this post. I think you are doing just fine.
Yes… you are so right. Their actions tell so much about how you are parenting! Children need discipline and I am sure throughout the day you gave plenty of love and positive attention too! So smile…Emma is learning so much from you! She reminds me of my Sarah… whispering to the animals! So very precious!