So a few weeks ago, a friend of mine on Twitter DM’d me to let me know that she had seen a picture of Emma on a tumblr blog.
Now, going into this whole situation, I didn’t realize that tumblr was basically a place where you can “like” stuff that you find online, and it posts to your tumblr account.
Having said that, I don’t care. I don’t want pictures of my daughter ANYWHERE other than on THIS BLOG unless I have given SPECIFIC PERMISSION. Period.
I have it posted on my blog, people.
So when I found a picture of my 2.5 year old (cute as she may be) on a blog with a background of someone scraping up cocaine … well, I was not thrilled.
Shortly after I posted a screenshot on Flickr, the background was changed, but I was still extremely upset.
I just don’t get it. If you like a picture that someone has posted, fine. But a picture of a CHILD on a blog with this type of content is unacceptable.
After a little researching, I found that the picture was originally posted on a tumblr blog called “we heart it” and was then re-blogged to over a hundred other blogs. I don’t know what to think about that. Yes, the blog linked back to here, and that’s cool. But still. It’s my daughter.
I don’t really know where to draw the line.
Ken isn’t bothered by this in the least, but it’s my baby girl. Yes, I made the choice to share pictures of her publicly, but I guess I was just naive about how fast a simple picture can spread around the internet. And frankly, I’m weirded out that a LOT of people are looking at pictures of my kid and re-blogging them all over the place. Especially when I’ve found blogs where people have posted pictures of Emma as if she were their own child.
Plus, I have to think of Emma when she’s 16 – will she want to find random photos of herself on random websites?
Since then, I’ve gone “friends and family” on Flickr with pictures of Emma (so you have to be listed as a friend to see any images of her) but it’s such a drain, because I’m currently doing a Project 365 and would like to be able to post a picture of her here and there, ya know?
But then the picture that was found on that awful background was taken from this blog.
So now what?
Add watermarks to all of my images? I do that now, but I can’t go back through the plethora of posts and add watermarks to all of those. Delete all images of Emma on my blog? Ugh. Go private? Double ugh.
Put my fingers in my ears and “la-la-la” my way through it?
I don’t know. I’m gun-shy about posting pictures of her, now. I just don’t like seeing pictures of her in other places. Is that MY problem? Am I naive in thinking that if I post public pictures of her, no one will take them or use them in other places?
The funny thing about all of this is that I am not considered a “popular blogger.” I don’t get asked to speak at conferences or do product reviews or go places for free. I don’t know how many followers I have right now, I don’t know what my stats are (nor do I care), the only reason I even have ads is because my husband makes me, and I write for me … with the exception of the occasional tutorial post for those who were me a couple of years ago.
So how in the howdy doo are these people even finding me?
This is not a new subject for me, nor will this be the last time I post about it.
broken images are pictures of Emma that I have since made ‘private’ on Flickr
As usual, I guess I just need to make sure that I’m comfortable with the images posted here to ensure my daughter’s safety and comfort level – both now and in the future.
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
I do not have flickr, nor a blog, but I enjoy seeing the pictures that you post. Every day you inspire me and remind me that things are beautiful, even if I do miss seeing Emma in all her cuteness, I respect your privacy and think that others feel the same way. You are a wonderful mother, so do what you feel is right for you and your family.
I whole-heartedly agree with Anon. Though I always enjoy your images and tend to find many of your images inspiring in my own photography pursuits, you should absolutely do what makes you feel the most comfortable. I can’t imagine how frustrating this situation must be for you. I’m sorry that you’re having to deal with it.
I wrestle with the same issues! It is so hard and once we post the images of our girls, we really have no clue where they may end up! My diva will be 3 next week and I just wanted you to know that you are not alone in the way you feel!
.-= Jo´s last blog ..Outtakes From the Diva’s Second 3 Year Shoot! =-.
I’m so sorry – I would have definitely been upset, too:( I feel the same way when I post pictures ad I always think, “Why on earth would anyone WANT my pictures in the first place??” I get saving design pictures for ideas and even then when I save anything now I always save the file with credit to the right person and/or website. That stinks so much on so many levels for you and I don’t even know what to say except that I definitely where the upset would come in. I love your pictures and sharing so very much, they’re beautiful and heartfelt and soulful and I would greatly miss not seeing them, BUT – it’s not about what any of us readers love. At the end of the day, it’s about doing what you feel good about in your heart as a mother and as parents. I have no clue what the solution is(going private, etc. really does seem like such a pain), but I hope that you’re able to figure out something that can offer you a bit of peace.
.-= Lillian´s last blog ..40 Bags in 40 Days – =-.
I found your blog a few days ago, I don’t remember how. Probably through ILP or Clickin Moms… but I wanted to delurk to encourage you in your decision to mark your photos private. I’m so ready to shut down my blog. I recently added a bit of code that disallows others to right click and save, but now I’m worried about photos being “favorited” like the one of your daughter above. It’s so sickening. Several photos were downloaded off of my blog before I added the bit of html code I mentioned, and I never stop wondering who downloaded them and why. I want to share my photos, the CC helps me learn, but I’m so ready to remove all of my images from the internet completely. It’s so sad that there are sicko creeps out there that are allowed to do this. We all need to encourage our Congressmen to work towards finding and enforcing a solution.
That is so bizarre. I’m with you – I blog for me but I don’t want to see my kids’ pictures (unless I give permission) on anyone else’s site/website etc. I love your photography especially pictures of Emma but you should do what’s best for you & your family. And if you go private, take me with you.
I use tumbler but it’s my bookmarking system for posts/ideas, etc I want to remember. And I have used pictures to remind myself of what it was I liked about the post. I didn’t think to even ask the owner permission. I didn’t think that anyone sees my tumbler site. My bad.
.-= jen@odbt´s last blog ..do you hear that? =-.
I forgot to add – is there a way to know if someone has downloaded pics from your site?
.-= jen@odbt´s last blog ..do you hear that? =-.
I totally agree with you! Even though I don’t have kids of my own, I post a lot of photos of babies and kids around me, and I would be horrified if someone took my pictures and posted them somewhere else! If anything, permission should always be asked first! Child photos is something so sensetive, especially to the parents…
I agree with Jen above, bookmarking is one thing, but promoting your site with other peoples photos is entirely different. Plus, you clearly state that you don’t want photos of your daughter posted anywhere without your permission.
p.s Hope you’re doing well! I usually don’t comment, but I just love your blog and tutorials :)
So sorry you’re having to deal with this, AGAIN. It stinks that people think its ok to do that. Hope you don’t decide to go private :( I love seeing your photography! But I understand the dilemma. Its our job as mom to take care of our little ones. Its funny about Ken though, cause my husband is the exact opposite.
.-= amanda@isewdoyou´s last blog ..Craft Night Revisited =-.
Oh Keli, I’m so sorry. I have felt this way as well, I don’t even have posted on my blog about asking to use photos… but today I think I will add that. I would have been majorly disheartened to find my boys pictures out in cyberspace where I did NOT put them too.
Whatever you come to decide, rest assured we are in your corner because it’s all about comfort level.
.-= Melissa´s last blog ..Celebrate the BOY =-.
I do not know what to tell you. I have gone back and forth on this issue, and I don’t even know if any of my pix have been shared/stolen/etc. I don’t even know how to find out – do you know how to find out? My Flickr has been public, private, friends only, etc. It’s so hard to know what to do. (((HUGS))) to you as you try to figure this out!
.-= Heather´s last blog ..42/365 … Tape Measure =-.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. I can hear the pain in your writing – it is a difficult decision. I knew early on, that I did not want to post pics of my daughter that could clearly be seen as her (obscure blurr, strange crop, partial body parts OK).
I have to admit – after seeing so many others (yourself included) post such wonderful pics of their children…I wanted to play along….and have posted some personal pics. Who wouldn’t want to share such beautiful moments – and as one of your followers, and dare I say friend (by the way – I beg to differ – you are incredibly “popular” in the flickr and blogging world) I would be very saddened if you decided to keep your sweet Emma under wrapps. But as the others have said, you need to do what you feel comfortable with.
I had a friend tell me something recently that helped calm my nerves a bit about the subject. Her daughter does some modeling. She explained that after the professional photo shoot is done, she gets paid for her time at the photo shoot, but the images are and can be used/sold by anyone that the photographer decides without her knowledge. We’re talking reputable advertising modeling jobs (not Joe Schmoe in his garage). She usually is not notified when the image is being used, and has randomly come across a pic of her daughter in a ad, or magazine withouth even knowing it. Now I don’t know if there is something in the modeling release she signs that states where the image can NOT be used (to keep it age appropriate – AKA no Cocaine please). She has not had any bad surprises show up, so maybe it’s not relavant after all?
That being said – even though you will most likely never be able to stop it – I would still fight and scream, kick and publicly denounce any time I saw an image being taken. I guess it’s a “cost” of sharing your life. But just know – we (your followers) recieve huge “benefits” from you doing so.
Huggs – K
I am so sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. You asked once if I had a blog, and honestly this is a part of the reason why I don’t. This is just something I don’t want to have to worry about.
I’ll miss seeing some of your photographs, but I completely understand your feelings on this.
I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this. Your post sounds so painful.
You know what’s right for you and for your family. I will certainly miss seeing pics of E, but I (and I’m sure so many of your readers, as well) will support you in whatever you decide.
xoxo
L
Wow. That is sort of creepy! I mean the crack and all. what in the world. Gee whilligers! Who would put a picture of your kid on their blog and pretend she was theirs? That is ridiculous.
I try not to think about this too much since I don’t even know how in the world I would make a watermark : ) and since, I hope, pictures of the cutest little african american 10 year old aren’t as popular as cute little girls… I just don’t know.
I hope you find a happy solution.
I think your blog is a wonderful place and one of my favorite things about it is seeing your baby!
.-= Life with Kaishon´s last blog ..Baby Brooke =-.
oh man this is terrible – it makes me feel nervous about my little Jayci! I cant believe that about the cocaine one . . . weird
hope you figure out the best way to deal with it my friend!
.-= Becca´s last blog ..Clutter-Master =-.
My kids are older now, so I’m glad I don’t have to deal with this but I feel your pain. The only thing I can suggest is that you make the pictures too small for people to want to use them. I’ve read about picture hosting places that will replace your image with a little icon when people try to save them, but I’m sure it costs money and I don’t know how it works. I hate to be the one to bring this up, but there are even worse things that could happen to the pics than the one with the nasty background, so you are right to be protective of your precious little girl.
Whew… not a favorite subject of mine. How would I even find where the pictures went? you’re making me gun shy too.
.-= Kelly Langner Sauer´s last blog ..puddles =-.
Hi Keli
Sorry to hear of what has happened with your pictures. I have just come across your site to learn how to make a water mark. I am just just starting out in the photography world and although my photos are no where near professional, thought it might be a good idea to watermark them. I was thinking about the same types of things as what you are now discussing. I’m really not into computer technology at all and probably know just enough to save myself but i am just wondering if you have heard of those “no right click” javascript codes. Would that b of any help to you at all.
There are a lot of creeps out there……. but why should you have to stop doing what you love simply because they don’t have any decency about them.
Best wishes….