parenting

I recently had one of those days. The kind where I sat down at the end of the day and realized that I spent the entire day saying things like “no, don’t touch that!” or “no, your water does NOT belong on the floor!” or “stopthatrightnow!”

I would much rather use positive reinforcement and redirection, but when I’m having to do it 472 times a day, I run out of ways to direct her.

It’s just easier to say “no.”

After I’ve put her to bed, I often stand outside her door and re-do the entire day using only loving words. I imagine myself being more level-headed and kind. I pretend that I didn’t yell once. I beat myself up over the things I said.

I remind myself that I’m human. But I still feel like I just didn’t do anything right.

And then, we go to the zoo.

I see her feeding an aoudad, whispering to him, being so gentle. I see her talking to the baby goats with such love and kindness.

And I realize that … I’m doing fine.

Everyone has bad days. Everyone makes mistakes. But as long as I counteract those mistakes with love and kindness and laughter, she’ll be okay.

We’ll be okay.

ps :: those awesome ladies over at I ♥ Faces let me post again today.

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I’ve actually had a few people ask me how we got E to use the potty so easily. Oh guys, nothing’s easy. But we are very lucky that the first week or so has been easier than I expected.

I’m not a parenting expert – I’ll be the first to admit that I Googled pretty much everything I did with my child for the first year of her life.

But as time went on, I realized that the internet doesn’t have all the answers. And even when it does have answers, they are often WRONG for the person reading the answers.

So this is how I got ready for potty training with Emma.

Seriously, I have not researched this at all.

I’ve let her go diaper’less for a couple of months just to get the hang of learning that you need to go to the potty when you feel the urge. It just made sense. I mean, when I get undressed and turn the shower on, I always always ALWAYS have to go to the bathroom. Am I right?

I didn’t set a date for her to start wearing underwear. We had three pairs that my mom gave us, she found them when “cleaning out her drawers” and I told her that they were big girl panties – they were what she would wear when she didn’t want to wear diapers any more.

She seemed to like them, but they are size 4T, so quite large. I let her pick out a 3-pack of the same undies in a 2T the next time I thought about it as we were walking through Target. It wasn’t a special trip or anything – just a normal shopping excursion.

She asked to wear them when she saw them in the laundry pile, so I said, “Sure!” She had an accident in them. I said, “Honey, try not to pee-pee in your panties. Try to pee-pee on the potty!” She had another accident a little later. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I started taking her to the bathroom every 30 minutes, and that worked. Everything we’ve done has just been “feeling around in the dark” – looking for her cues.

So here is my big, huge, motherly advice …

step 1: go with the flow

step 2: let your kid pick out their own underwear

step 3: have fun with it

step 4: expect accidents

step 5: give lots of praise and love and hugs and kisses

and finally …

step 6: relax and enjoy this time, because you will soon realize that you miss the snuggly, cuddly diaper sessions. it’s just not as much fun to snuggle and cuddle and tickle when they’re sitting on a toilet.

And some not-so-legit advice …

Try to laugh about the fact that the only potty at the town you are visiting on your first BIG outing out of the house without diapers is a PORTA-POTTY.

Don’t swear in front of your kid when she pees on your hand as you’re pulling her panties down in the McDonald’s restroom.

Learn to say “Do you need to use the potty?” in pretty much any place, at any time, in any situation.

And keep gallons of Purell in your car.

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